Choice Evaluation

Last time I blogged I shared an essay that I had written and then spoken about during my senior year of high school. At the end of the essay my teacher has written me a note, and in it she states that having read the essay she wonders what I would consider a good “choice” and recommends perhaps adding that to my essay in any future revision. If I ever did revise the essay further, I can’t seem to find it now... so I’m not sure what my answer would have been then.

But reading that comment now, nearly five years later, makes me wonder, what do I consider to be a good “choice”? How does my answer now, change from the answer that I would have given nearly five years ago?

I am fairly certain that five years ago this question would have baffled me. I would have likely spent hours in front of a blank computer screen trying to rationalize why exactly I was so befuddled. I’m sure I could have come up with vague ideas of what exactly a “good” or “proper” choice would be, but I think I would have a hard time pinpointing my own self proclaimed “good choices”.

I likely would have rambled around the question much like I just did, and eventually walk away without having really answered at all.

But it is a valid question.

For instance, out of high school I attended a community college for two years before transferring to Michigan State University. MSU was always the goal, and it was my “choice” to defer going immediately out of high school in order to forgo at least a portion of the debt that going immediately would incur.

Quite frankly I knew that I could not afford to attend immediately and did not want to be saddled with a ridiculous amount of debt at the end of my education, when there was another path that I could choose that would ultimately lead to the same result.

These were the reasons behind my choice and for me these reasons validated it as a good one at the time, and still do.

But the thing to be aware of here is that every choice ultimately leads to a new one. Or maybe more precisely new opportunities, the choice that I’ve outlined above, driven by financial reasoning, is an honest reflection of why I made the choice I did and why I thought it a good one at the time. However, after having spent that year at MSU I am able to see that choice in an all-new light.

Let’s be clear, I still feel that Michigan State is where I needed to be and it was a good choice, but I feel that the choice to go there in particular allowed me to come to understand something even more important; sometimes the choices that we make are not really the choices we originally believe them to be.

Allow me to explain.

I originally decided that Michigan State was going to be my collegiate goal at some point during my Junior year of high school. In my research of Journalism schools, I uncovered MSU to be one of the top Journalism schools in Michigan. I choose MSU because they were the best, and I believe that you should always strive to for greatness.

Why give 100% when you can strive for 110%?

So, for the approximately four years between deciding MSU was the goal and actually getting accepted and going, I saw it as a good choice because of the prestige I could earn by having gotten my degree there.

Today, and actually for at least the last two years or so, I’ve begun to see deciding on MSU and ultimately going there to have been a good choice because of the experiences that I had while I was there. I had the opportunity to meet some amazing people, renew my relationship with God and ultimately learn a lot about myself.

It wasn’t just a learning experience, but really a chance to grow and mature and find my footing as the adult that I am and everyday continue to become. Life, after all, is a continual learning experience.

I’m confident that had I not had that year at Michigan State I would not be where I am now in my life, and that would be a shame. Maybe I didn’t actually complete the goal I set out for, which was to graduate from MSU, but that ok because sometimes when we encounter circumstances beyond our control we learn that God has plans larger for us than we could ever imagine for ourselves.

My lack of a degree therefore isn’t a statement to the wrongness of my choices, because the experiences that my choices allowed me to have confirmed that it was the right one.  

Week 41: Online Degree, The Future

I'm not really sure how it is that I managed to really start looking into finishing my degree online. I mean, I've considered it, but I haven't really taken the opportunity to sit down and investigate the options that are out there. It's definitely something that I need to continue considering and investigating.

It's just, I'm not really sure what it is that I want to do. There is an extent to which I'd like to finish what I've started as far as my degree in Journalism, and yet there's another part of me that wonders if that's wise when I'm not 100% sure that's even the direction that I want to pursue anymore. I mean, yes I really enjoy writing, but as I found during my year at MSU being a Journalist is about SO much more than writing. Anyone can write, and being a Journalist isn't about being a stellar writer anyway (although it certainly helps).

Do I even have what it takes? I know I do, that's a challenge that I can rise to. But... It's just such an investment of time and money, and the future is so uncertain no matter what choice I ultimately make. This isn't anything I'm going to be making a definitive decision on right now.

I guess the point that I'm coming to, or at least my original point before I became mired in all this inner dialogue, it that if I can find a legit online program then it would serve my interests at the moment, because I don't really have the time or the flexibility to take 'traditional' classes. Working full time doesn't allow me the flexibility that working part time did, but I can't afford not to be full time. It's the catch 22 of life really.

For now I'll continue to look into the whole online degree thing. Do you know anyone that's ever completed a degree online? What did they have to say about it?

I'll talk to you soon.

A Change in Plans

The plans that God has for us don’t always match up with those that we had for ourselves. Had you asked me a year ago where I expected to be today, that answer would be quite different from my present reality. This time a year ago I had just gotten into Michigan State University. I had transferred there from Washtenaw Community College with the intent to pursue a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism.

I wanted to be a writer. It was a plan that made a lot of sense. After all, MSU has a wonderful J-school. But the more I consider that career choice, the more I feel that it was solely my plan and not necessarily God’s plan. Yes, I was pursuing Journalism with the intention to help people, but how far can words go in helping people?

I have always believed that words carry a lot of power, and I continue to believe that. But I don’t feel that my true passions lie in putting words down on paper like I may have once thought. While I enjoy writing, and I could probably be suitably happy writing for the rest of my life, I don’t think that it would ultimately satisfy my passion for helping people.

I feel that being an EMT allows me to be instrumental in helping those that are in crisis.

I realize that writer and EMT are drastically different career paths, but… it’s where I feel like I need to be. It’s where I feel called to be. I have a broad idea of what my future has in store for me, but I think that’s all we can have. A broad idea.

It’s best to live in the present, be cognizant of the role the past has played and to be open to what the future has in store. At the present this is where I am. I am grateful for the experiences that now reside in my past, and I am remaining open to what each new day has to offer me.

Christmas Break?

I managed a 3.5 in my JRN 200 class, which is awesome. My Macroeconomics and Lit/Cultures classes haven't reported grades back yet, so that's still up in the air, and of course I have one more final to take tomorrow so that class obviously hasn't reported anything back yet.

I'm little nervous at this point as far as Macroeconomics is concerned. I have a feeling that I didn't do as well as I was anticipating in their, and very possibly didn't do quite as well as I needed to. I may be taking that class again despite my hesitancy to do so. It was boring enough the first time. However, if I had put more time into learning the material than merely getting by there wouldn't be cause to worry.

In any case, it was a learning experience. Maybe it wasn't the one that I was looking for, but there you go.

I'm just excited by the prospect of being finished with my first semester after tomorrow morning, and getting to go back home for a few weeks. I'm also very excited to get to go back to work and see everyone there. I'm really enjoying the idea of getting to return to a work place that I feel super comfortable in. I'm excited to jump right back in where I left off in August, though even now the department is obviously structured a little differently.

It's an adventure that I'm definitely ready to take!

Double Fail

I didn't even realize until some point earlier today that I forgot to write anything on Wednesday, and then failed to write anything today. That's alright though, the evening was productive even though I failed to hold up to my blogging plan.

I'm all packed and ready to head for home after class in the morning. The roads aren't too great at the moment, but I'm hoping that by then they'll be better. If not though, it's not like it's the first time that I've driven in the snow. It may end up wearing on my patience but I'll exercise some caution.

Today was my final day in my JRN 200 class, and I think it went well. I didn't end up blogging Wednesday because I was furiously working to finish my final story for that class. As it was, it was four-thirty Thursday morning before I had that and the extra credit article written. Though really it was totally worth it.

I braved the cold to turn in my papers and then have a one-on-one with my teacher about my grade, which I ended up doing very well in that class. I got at least a 3.0, maybe better depending on the grades that I end up getting on these final two papers. It was a tough class, and I'm glad that it's over, but I definitely appreciate the things that I learned in there. It was an important step in gearing up for my journalism career.

However, my three and a half hours of sleep are catching up with me, and if I'm driving home in the snow I need to be awake, so I'll fill the next few days with explanations regarding the last few post lapses.

Laundry Night

My final out of class story for JRN 200 is due on Thursday. I still need to get it written despite having had every intention to get it out of the way sooner. Intentions don't always translate the way that we'd like them to unfortunately.

I've managed to get it super organized and planned out while also getting laundry done. I'm hoping that the writing starts to flow better once I sit down with my computer. The plan for the moment is to at least have something written by the time I go to bed tonight.

It's not that the article is particuarily hard to write, it's just a matter of taking the time to sit down and focus on getting it done. That and there is a lot of information that I need to sift through and determine what goes and what stays.

It doesn't help that this is basically the last full week of the semester so I'm more focused on going home for break than school work.

Just one more week!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Snow Has Arrived

The snow has arrived. At this point the it's not sticking to the roads or sidewalks, but the ground is frozen enough that the grass is completely covered in white. I'm not a big fan of snow, but that's largely because I don't particularly like the colds. Yes, snow is pretty to look at, but it is also cold and a pain to drive in.

The snow is welcome to stick around until Christmas, but then it tends to get old real quick.

We went over the format that the final in my Lit/Cultures class is going to take. It looks like it's going to be complicated, but then I really didn't expect anything less than that. Honestly the way that that class has gone this semester, I don't understand why so many in the class seemed surprised.

I'll probably study somewhat for it, but honestly I'm not super worried about it. I've largely paid attention in class to this point and don't foresee having to large of a problem with it. Besides my grade is fairly solid.

At some point tomorrow I need to start laying out my final stories for my JRN 200 class. These are both due on Thursday, and then I'm completely finished with that class. My other three classes have finals, although my EC 202 final is online. I should probably do some review for that one at least.

Mainly though, I'm just ready for Christmas break to get here.

Journalism and Work

We had our final test story in JRN 200 today. I'm fairly certain that I managed to turn it in without any fatals in it. Hopefully that is the case. Now I just need to decide whether or not I want to write the extra credit article or not. I'm tempted to, though I guess it'll depend on how motivated I get.

Although it would wipe out three of my fatals, so maybe I should double check to see how many fatals I actually got. If I only got three or less than I suppose it would actually be work it to do the extra credit. There's no way that I'm going to 4.0 the class, but maybe I'll manage to get close. I probably should have stayed after today to find out what my grade was. Oh well.

Work was an interesting combination of pleasant and boring. Pleasant because apparently I've been nominated during the last few shifts as the most recognized worker or something along those lines. What this means, aside from an ego boost I have no idea, but it's nice to be appreciated. Then of course it was boring, because before I got to my shift today, they had someone else come in and work a shift that was slightly earlier than mine, and then overlapped mine, so they basically got everything done that I usually do when I get there.

I stayed busy, but it was difficult to find things that needed to be done.

Meetings

Tonight I had to go to the East Lansing City Council Meeting so that I can write about it for my last out of class story in JRN 200.

It was a long meeting. For the most part the meeting was dedicated to these ordinances that have been considered in some of the local neighborhoods. Essentially the ordinances would make it so that in those particular areas it is not possible for houses to be rented out.

The largest argument for there not to be rentals in their neighborhoods is this pervasive idea that renters are somehow incapable of maintaining a house the same way that owners are. There also seemed to be this idea that the rentals would be offered to students and those that lived in the neighborhood seemed really opposed to the idea that they would be living around college students.

The meeting was a little frustrating, and now I need to write an article without managing to show my bias. I think I'm going to wait until this weekend to even consider tackling the actual article writing.

Writing Style

This seems to be a common problem. I think about the fact that I need to blog, and then fail to do so when I'm thinking about it, AND THEN midnight rolls around and I've failed to blog. I've done this enough times now, that you think I would have learned my lesson by now.

Apparently I'm a slow learner.

I finished reading Mitch Albom's latest book, "Have A Little Faith". It was so good. Although honestly I adore all of his books. He writes in such a straight-forward manner that it is easy to let yourself get lost in the story. His writing style is similar to Anderson Cooper's. Each of them write in a very clear and simple way.

They say what they mean to say without being overly showy about the way that they say it. That is the writing style that I strive for in my journalism career.

It is officially Saturday morning. I have gotten all of my letters asking for support in my trip to Mexico put together, and just need to mail them in the morning. At some point today I'll be blogging again, in penance for lessons unlearned.

Break Time

I think I've managed to round up all of the information for my third out of class story in JRN 200. Now it is just a matter of sitting down to actually get the piece written for Tuesday.

I've got time. I'll get it taken care of.

Lit/Cultures was actually kind of interesting today. Mostly it was interesting because people actually participated in the conversation and there weren't as many awkward silences. Although there were a lot of people absent today, so the class being smaller probably had a lot to do with it.

Most likely that's the case. Thankfully though the semester is almost over. I'm really ready for this Thanksgiving break. I'm a little burnt out on school and continual deadlines. I finally managed to finish reading "Liar". Now I just need to get a review written and posted for the SpartanEdge. I'm going to make my quota of three post this week and that is exciting.

No Homework?

My goal is to be caught up with homework to the point that I won't have to bother with it over break. The idea of being able to go home and not have to give school a second thought is incredibly appealing. Especially since it is so hard to get motivated to work on homework when I'm at home anyway.

As I write this I'm sitting in Lit/Cultures and am so lost. I miss calculated what I needed to read in order to be prepared for class today. We're talking about subcultures, but the way that the prof is trying to present the idea isn't very effectively spurring conversation. That is the way that class usually goes though, so I'm not certain why it's surprising every time.

Thankfully all we have to do for Friday is watch a movie. That will be simple enough, or at least it should be.

When I wrote the above earlier I didn't know yet what I wanted to write my final out of class article on for my JRN 200 class. I just finished filling out the tip sheet though, so hopefully that goes well. At any rate I've written down an idea. I'm much further along than I was.

Sick Weekend

I definitely fell asleep last night before making a second post, which considering the return of my fever isn't all that surprising. I will make an attempt to make three posts through-out today.

As of this morning my fever was gone, although I will probably take my temperature again today before heading back to school just to make sure it is actually gone. If not I'm going to have to make arrangements to go to the doctor tomorrow after giving my presentation.

My group definitely thought that we were supposed to give out presentation in out Intro to Mass Media class on Wednesday, but it turns out that we are set to present tomorrow morning. It's stressful, but I think we're going to be fine.

My headache is starting to come back, and I've got a cough that won't go away. It's already looking to be a long day.

Laundry Day

I desperately needed to do laundry today. Generally I only have to do two loads, today I had to do three. Yeah, I kind of put it off, but on the bright side when I go home this weekend I won't come back to school with a ton of laundry to do. There is that bright spot!

Sarah went back home this afternoon with Felicia. I'm not sure where I was going with that, other than to state the fact.

Lately my Tuesdays and Thursdays have seemed busy. This Tuesday I had class until noon, and then Sarah and I went to get lunch, before I went to work at two, and soon after I got out of work we headed to the concert.

Then of course today I had class until noon again, and then we went to get lunch before Felicia came to pick Sarah up, and then I went to work before going to meet my journalism project group and then coming back to do laundry.

At this point I have a few pages to finish reading for class tomorrow, and I'll probably go get something to eat. I'm looking forward to this weekend at home though. I haven't been home since the weekend of the retreat. I didn't realize how long it's really been until the other day.

Exciting Times

So blog-wise, I haven't done very well this week updating. Oops. Monday was a case of forgetting. I had an article to write, an SpartanEdge meeting to go to, and Sarah got here to visit for a few days. I was focused on so many other things that blogging didn't cross my mind until after my self-imposed deadline had passed.

I had a SpartanEdge deadline that I was a little more focused on. My article on student voting rights was in this weeks edition of SpartanEdge, so that's kind of exciting!

Then Tuesday was insane, there was a lot to be done and not a lot of time to do it in. I had class in the morning, where we struggled with Internet that didn't want to work, a projector that wouldn't allow us to go over past assignments, and just general technology flubs. We worked on learning to write scripts for broadcast.

I'm fairly certain at this point in time that I don't want to write for broadcast. While that attitude could change, I'm fairly certain that I will stay steadfast in that evaluation.

After class Sarah and I went to get lunch, before I had to got to work, and soon after I got out of work we went to the Anberlin/All American Rejects/Taking Back Sunday concert. It was really good, and a lot of fun! I haven't listened to a lot of Anberlin, but I really liked their set so I think I'm going to have to check them out.

Anyway, as far as blogging, I am now back on track with my weekly schedule and will be doing some extra posting this weekend to make up for my failure to post early this week. The last few weeks around midterms have seemed crazy busy, but I think I'm managing to get things back to a steadier pace. At least, I hope so.

Scavenger Hunt

As usual, when I fail to post as I am thinking about it I end of forgetting about it completely. I was going to write something up before going to work last night, and didn't. Once my shift was over I walked over the the Girl's House, and hung out and obviously failed to pay any attention to my blog. True story.

Last night was fun though. The weather was rather awful, so they didn't end up doing the scavenger hunt earlier in the evening. Why that led us to believe doing the scavenger hunt in the dark was a good idea... I'm not really sure.

At any rate, in the dark accompanied by the wind and rain we split off into groups and drove around campus lead by riddles. The object of the game was to solve the riddles, find the structure they were talking about, and snap a picture with someone in the group in the picture.

We were all soaked by the time we got back to the house, but it was fun regardless. Afterwords we just hung around for a bit longer. It was close to two or so by the time I got back to my dorm.

Shortly I'll have to go grab somthing to eat and then head off to work again. This time I'm working the late night shift over in Wilson. Most likely I'll go join the group for Hot Dog Ministry since it's Halloween.

I feel like I have a lot of homework that I need to get done, but am lacking the focus to do so. Then again, everytime I look through what needs to be done it's really not that much. I think mainly I"m just nervous about applying to the school of journalism. My instinct is to say that I'll get in, and yet there is that little kernal of doubt in the back of my mind. I'm honestly not sure what the plan is if I don't get into the J-school...

The Why

Doubt, my old friend,

You stumble in,

I am hounded by my failure,

To comprehend,

I don’t understand,

The way things stand,

Between you and me.

I find the path

And walk it a ways

Then stumble and crash

When the tide shifts

And what I believed true

Proves frightfully false.

It’s one step forward,

And two steps back,

It’s a failure to gravitate

Away from this shallow pool

Of consistent failure

I want to find

A reason, a way.

Why, Why

I want to know

I want to understand

I can’t see beyond

These blinders

I can’t find, I can’t distinguish

The why.

J-School Application

I need to describe in five-hundred words why I want to major in journalism, for my application to enter the School of Journalism here at MSU. Somehow I think that a "just because" response isn't going to cut it. Thankfully, it's made slightly less vague because it also asks about my career goals.

I take this to mean that I am being asked what area of the field I want to enter into, and how I want to make my time there count. Considering I haven't written anything yet, and the application is due by November first, it would probably be a good idea to get my ideas organized.

I mean, really what spurred me into choosing Journalism in the first place was finding an enjoyment in writing. I like to write, and supposedly it's something I'm good at, so it seems like the natural direction to go in.

I guess some of the stress that I'm feeling at the moment stems from the fact that I find the whole application process a little intimidating. What do I do if I'm not accepted into the major? I have no idea what my next step would be. Transferring schools is such a strange thing, because now all of a sudden it feels like I'm so close to being done and that's kind of scary.

The future is a little daunting at the moment quite frankly.

Focus Fail.

For each of our out of class assignments in JRN 200, we have to make it into a blog post. I have a portion of the blog that is due Thursday done, and I think I'm going to finish it tomorrow. I am also beginning to think that I choose a more complex subject for my article than I may have initially intended. However, I am happy to report that my second out of class story seems to be coming along nicely.

I'm also still working on my application for the school of journalism. I just need to finish off my resume, and write the essay about my career goals. Have I mentioned that I'm a little intimidated by the whole process?

I feel like I have a lot of things to get done in the next couple days, but my focus just isn't what I need it to be. Basically, I am aware of all the things that I need to get done, and so so rather than focus on one thing at a time, my mind attempts to focus on several things at once.

Hopefully tomorrow my focus will be where it needs to be. In the meantime I have some reading that I need to get done to be prepared for class.

Average Thursday

I very nearly didn't write this. Not out of any intention to not do so, but mainly because it slipped my mind. Today was a pretty busy day. I went to my JRN 200 class where we learned that you are supposed to use attribution in obituaries. This seems strange to me, because I've never read an obituary that had attribution, but I'm not going to argue the point.

However, since the book for the class definitely indicated that attribution is not necessary when writing an obituary, we all received a reprieve from the gross grades we got for failing to use attribution in our obituary assignment.

After class I had lunch before heading off to work. Dessert today was cheesecake, I know because the bulk of my shift was spent cutting the numerous cheesecakes that were set to be used this evening. They actually looked really good.

Once I got out of work, I had to head over to the main library where four out of the ten people in our JRN 108 group met to discuss the presentation we're due to give on the eleventh. If we can ever all manage to meet and delegate responsibilities it should end up being a fairly simple project.

It was seven or so by the time I finally got the chance to work on my article that was due by eleven tonight, and of course I didn't end up concentrating on it until a quarter to ten. The important thing however is that I managed to get it finished, and go over it. I am 99% certain that there were no fatals in that particular assignment.