Not What I Promised

The big event of the day was assembling a fire pit so that we could put it on display in our department at work. I managed to get half of it put together before I had to leave. Either my coworker finished putting it together tonight, or it will be there waiting for me in the morning.

Really though I don't mind putting things like that together. Some day's I'd rather do that than actually deal with customers... Or maybe I should most days, rather than some days.

My headache has returned. I wish it would disappear, but that doesn't seem all together likely at the moment.

Yeah, about that...

Okay. So I said I was going to use today to write, but I ended up catching up on sleep. I don't generally sleep much past nine thirty, but it was nearly noon before I was up today. I guess I hadn't realized just how sleep deprived I've been lately.

Then of course I was distracted by the Internet, and t.v., and reading... It's a long list of excuses and I think I'll save it because I don't much like excuses.

I don't know if I mentioned previously that I just got All Time Low's new CD, "Nothing Personal". I've been listening to it pretty much constantly for the last few days. It's amazing.

I feel as though today's post is a little mediocre, but I promise to attempt to do better tomorrow.

Spider Overload

My day started out with spider overload and went downhill from there. I must be noted that I HATE spiders. While I understand that logically, yes, I am larger than they are they still freak me out. No one ever said that fear had to be rational. If fear was rational than I would be afraid of water rather than spiders.

Anyway, I got to work this afternoon and just before I got out of my car I noticed that there were spiders ALL OVER the outside of my car. Okay, okay maybe not all over but there was more than one and each of them were about the size of a dime. I didn't want to get out of the car, but faced with being late to work I opened the door and hopped out as quickly as I could. Thankfully no spiders made it into my car. That would have been an intense drive home.

Work, was work. There was nothing particularly exciting about it, aside from the return of my headache. At this point I'm fairly certain it's just a tension headache, and once I have things sorted out it will go away. Hopefully in the next week or so I can manage to get things sorted out.

Now there is a moth flying around my room. GREAT.

Headache

I feel as though my head is going to explode. I should probably take something, but... eh.

I suppose it would help if I could just breathe, just take a moment and stop THINKING. Thinking will get you every time. I have the day off Thursday. Maybe I'll spend the day writing. Maybe that's just what the doctor ordered.

Sometimes it is easy to feel like a coward, and generally that is because cowardly behavior isn't all that difficult to identify. At the moment I am tempted to refute these self-aimed claims... and yet I can't bring myself to. If I weren't so cowardly maybe I wouldn't feel the stress of all of these decisions weighing down on my shoulders.

I know what I need to do, and yet that doesn't make me any more inclined to get up and going about doing what needs to be done. I need to make a decision and follow through with it, and perhaps than I will manage to lose this headache.

Fictional Worlds

The goal for this evening is to finish reading "Cry Wolf" by Patricia Briggs. It's marvelous, and is definitely putting to rest any notion that I may have previously held of not enjoying her novels that aren't about Mercy Thompson. While the Mercy Thompson Series remains my favorite, I am definitely enjoying "Cry Wolf".

Tomorrow morning I go back to work after having yesterday and today off. It's hard to get back into the groove, but that is life I suppose. Tomorrow night I have to focus on finding a cosigner. I'm anxious for August to get here, but I need to get the funding in order if I still plan on going to school, which I very much do.

Why does school require so much money? Is it really any wonder that college students today are facing greater stress levels?

Eh. I am now returning to fictional worlds, where things make sense.

The Stress Equation

I resind yesterdays statment and claim today was a long day. This simple equation explains my day: Holiday Weekend + Understaffed = Retail Hell. There is nothing wrong with the store being busy, in fact that is preferable to being slow however only when the conditions are set up in such a manner that this may be handled accordingly.

One person watching over multiple departments that are excessively seperated is not condusive to an adequate working environment. In fact, these conditions are only condusive to major stress to all parties involved.

It is nice to be home, at least for the moment.

At around two this morning I finished reading "Blood Bound", and it was completely worth it. At the moment I'm reading "Iron Kissed", which is the book that follows it. Patricia Briggs is amazing. If you enjoy urban fantasy I highly recommend her Mercy Thompson Series.

Phone Theif

How did I know today was going to be a long day? At any rate it was a really long day.

I spent the bulk of my time at work, where we were incredibly busy while also incredibly understaffed. Things slowed down in the evening, but still: GAH. However, I will be back there tomorrow bright and early. By that time I'll probably regret staying up and finishing "Blood Bound" but that's nothing new. It's too good a book to wait until tomorrow evening.

Darcy is now sitting on my desk chair, nestled in my work shirt and glaring at me. I'm sure she can tell she is being talked about. However, I much prefer her glaring than attempting to gnaw on my arm. This is actually fairly funny.

I little while ago I was sitting here, when my phone started to ring. I had thrown it into my purse, so Darcy was immediately mesmerized by the idea that the bag laying next to her was making nose. I attempted to fish out my phone to no avail, and thus had to dump the contents of it onto my bed. This apparently was even more interesting, because she got up to begin assisting me in rifling through the now free contents. FINALLY I found my phone, and as I flipped it open she immediately went after my arm, as though she was going to take the phone away from me.

Cats.

Urban Dictionary

Go to UrbanDictionary.com and enter the answers to these questions. <-- Those were the directions attached to the initial survey. From what I could tell you were to answer the question, and then use your answer as the search word on UrbanDictionary. I could only assume you were to then pick a definition, and so I did.

Sorry for reverting to a meme tonight, but it was a long day and in anticipation of another long day tomorrow I am opting to have a less than optimal post today. Sorry, and enjoy! :)

1. What does your first name mean? Sandra: A Sandra is known to have striking intelligent features. Tends to be the bravest In a group of people. Although clumsy at times, always recovers from a stumble Like a ballerina in flip flops.

2. Your Age? 20: the number before 21 and after 19. generally used when counting.

3. Your State? Michigan: Mexico's biggest fan, seeing as every company decides to move there.

4. The Year You Were Born? 1989: The year in which the Berlin Wall fell, and the eighties ended.

5. Your Eye Color? Green: envious

6. Your Pets Name? Yoda: a wise or seemingly all-knowing individual AND Darcy: The epitome of flustration; rage at its finest.

7. Your Middle Name: Amaris: a misspelling of words such as: amazing, perfect, funny, hilarious, cute, pretty, beautiful, sexy, fine, ravishing, dashing, gorgeous, etc.

8. What's Your Favorite Drink? Coke: Any drink served in the South

Greg Holden

“It’s better to make your mistakes
than to live without knowing,
it’s better to fall on your face
than to stay on your feet”
-“The Art of Falling” by Greg Holden

This is an idea that I like to live by, but I don’t always manage to. When you are busy failing or perceiving yourself as failing it doesn’t always feel as though it is worth it. While sitting here at my desk it’s easy to feel as though there is always something to be learned from making mistakes, and yet at the same time when in those moments of making the actual mistake it’s crushing.

As a rule I don’t like fail. No one likes to fail, or seeks to fail.

What I really like about these lyrics is that they remind us that it’s okay to take risks. Risks allow us the opportunity to learn and to grow. Mistakes offer models for future success, and this something that I often lose sight of. I think it’s something many of us often lose sight of.

The Mirror

Stumbling, fumbling, falling
Into the abyss’ welcoming embrace,
Searching, scanning, hoping
That it is not you that I must face.

In moments I find weakness
Clings to my every thought,
I am lost in familiar waters
And meeting foes previously fought.

The darkness beckons
And beseeches me forward,
The light sits at my back
Waiting for the tug of a ripcord.

Uncertainty fogs my vision
And clouds my every step,
The dread of moments to come
Frightens in this endless prep.

I reach my destination
Dead-end to an endless hall,
And there stands a mirror
Hung against the wall.

You are there standing in repose
Your eyes dare to accuse,
Here you have waited
And you are not amused.

Your eyes are mine
And my eyes are yours,
Each of us it tired
Of these tiresome chores.

You shrug, as do I
As we are each the first to turn away,
The darkness at my back
For the moment held at bay.