Saturday, October 31, 2009


NANOWRIMO starts tomorrow, and that makes me a little nervous. This is the first year that I've decided to actually participate in NANOWRIMO. Can I manage to finish writing a novel in a month? We shall see!

I don't know though. Lately I've felt a little buried in homework, and I'm thinking that adding to this a novel writing goal, plus my blog is going to up the stress level a bit. Although, there is also the potential for writing a novel to be a destessor too. Hopefully novel writing proves to be my destressor and not an added stressor. Fingers crossed!

Sarah is coming up to visit this week, and I'm excited! She's going to get here Monday afternoon, and then go to the All American Rejects/Taking Back Sunday concert with me on Tuesday. It's going to be a lot of fun! We haven't worked out whether or not I'm driving her back Wednesday, or if she's going to stay and go back with Felicia on Thursday. Either way though it's exciting.

I worked late night over in Wilson tonight, and that was interesting. They had me work over in the Hub, where they make subs and wraps. Initially it was really, really busy. But near the end of the shift it tapered off. It is Halloween after all.

Scavenger Hunt

As usual, when I fail to post as I am thinking about it I end of forgetting about it completely. I was going to write something up before going to work last night, and didn't. Once my shift was over I walked over the the Girl's House, and hung out and obviously failed to pay any attention to my blog. True story.

Last night was fun though. The weather was rather awful, so they didn't end up doing the scavenger hunt earlier in the evening. Why that led us to believe doing the scavenger hunt in the dark was a good idea... I'm not really sure.

At any rate, in the dark accompanied by the wind and rain we split off into groups and drove around campus lead by riddles. The object of the game was to solve the riddles, find the structure they were talking about, and snap a picture with someone in the group in the picture.

We were all soaked by the time we got back to the house, but it was fun regardless. Afterwords we just hung around for a bit longer. It was close to two or so by the time I got back to my dorm.

Shortly I'll have to go grab somthing to eat and then head off to work again. This time I'm working the late night shift over in Wilson. Most likely I'll go join the group for Hot Dog Ministry since it's Halloween.

I feel like I have a lot of homework that I need to get done, but am lacking the focus to do so. Then again, everytime I look through what needs to be done it's really not that much. I think mainly I"m just nervous about applying to the school of journalism. My instinct is to say that I'll get in, and yet there is that little kernal of doubt in the back of my mind. I'm honestly not sure what the plan is if I don't get into the J-school...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Why

Doubt, my old friend,

You stumble in,

I am hounded by my failure,

To comprehend,

I don’t understand,

The way things stand,

Between you and me.

I find the path

And walk it a ways

Then stumble and crash

When the tide shifts

And what I believed true

Proves frightfully false.

It’s one step forward,

And two steps back,

It’s a failure to gravitate

Away from this shallow pool

Of consistent failure

I want to find

A reason, a way.

Why, Why

I want to know

I want to understand

I can’t see beyond

These blinders

I can’t find, I can’t distinguish

The why.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

J-School Application

I need to describe in five-hundred words why I want to major in journalism, for my application to enter the School of Journalism here at MSU. Somehow I think that a "just because" response isn't going to cut it. Thankfully, it's made slightly less vague because it also asks about my career goals.

I take this to mean that I am being asked what area of the field I want to enter into, and how I want to make my time there count. Considering I haven't written anything yet, and the application is due by November first, it would probably be a good idea to get my ideas organized.

I mean, really what spurred me into choosing Journalism in the first place was finding an enjoyment in writing. I like to write, and supposedly it's something I'm good at, so it seems like the natural direction to go in.

I guess some of the stress that I'm feeling at the moment stems from the fact that I find the whole application process a little intimidating. What do I do if I'm not accepted into the major? I have no idea what my next step would be. Transferring schools is such a strange thing, because now all of a sudden it feels like I'm so close to being done and that's kind of scary.

The future is a little daunting at the moment quite frankly.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Focus Fail.

For each of our out of class assignments in JRN 200, we have to make it into a blog post. I have a portion of the blog that is due Thursday done, and I think I'm going to finish it tomorrow. I am also beginning to think that I choose a more complex subject for my article than I may have initially intended. However, I am happy to report that my second out of class story seems to be coming along nicely.

I'm also still working on my application for the school of journalism. I just need to finish off my resume, and write the essay about my career goals. Have I mentioned that I'm a little intimidated by the whole process?

I feel like I have a lot of things to get done in the next couple days, but my focus just isn't what I need it to be. Basically, I am aware of all the things that I need to get done, and so so rather than focus on one thing at a time, my mind attempts to focus on several things at once.

Hopefully tomorrow my focus will be where it needs to be. In the meantime I have some reading that I need to get done to be prepared for class.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Packed Weekend

This weekend was busy, but it was a nice kind of busy.

Friday night I went and hung out at the His House girls house and helped Nataleigh, whose four, gut a pumpkin so that she could carve it. I definitely ended up covered in pumpkin, but that's a given when hanging around smaller children. Later in the evening we went to do Hot Dog ministry in front of The Living Rock. As usual that was fun.

However, the weather hadn't been too great all day, so it was quite a bit slower than usual. I don't think we even went through all of the hot dogs. We did manage to get rid of all of them that we had grilled up though. It was nearly three by the time I got back to the dorms.

Saturday, I attempted to get some of my homework done, but I don't think I really succeeded in getting much accomplished. If anything I got bits and pieces of multiple things completed. I had a lot of trouble focusing on any one thing at one time for most of that day. I would start on one project, and then my mind would wander to another project until I started working it, and so the process went.

But Saturday evening was the MSU v. Iowa game, so a group of us went to Pizza House, and had dinner while we watched the game. That game was CRAZY. Really, that's all that needs to be said. Once the game was done, we went back to the girls house, and we watched a movie and just kind of hung out. Again it was about one-thirty or so when I got back to the dorms.

Then Sunday turned into another full day. I went to church with Kali, Felicia, and Jessica in the morning. That was really cool, I really liked Riv Church's service. It followed the same kind of format that fellowship does on Wednesdays.

Anyway, after church we went and got lunch, and after hanging out at PetCo, we went back to the house, and from there went shopping with Julia, Nataleigh and Niki, before returning to the house and hanging out. Once again it was about one thirty before I got back to my dorm room. But the sleep deprivation was worth it. It was a really good weekend, and it gave me a chance to just forget about school work for a little bit.

Of course, now I have to get busy filling out my application for the School of Journalism. It's due Friday, and I can't get in to see an advisor until Thursday. Between that and interviews for my latest story for class, it's going to be a busy next few days school wise.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Rainy Dayz

It has been raining on and off all day. Rain, in an abstract way, is fine. It's when you have to walk to class in the rain that it's a bit annoying. Not only has it been raining most of the day, but it's cold rain. Cold rain is the worst.

My winter boots finally made it to my house though, so that's exciting. Hopefully they're the right size and everything. I don't generally like to order shoes on the Internet, but I really these boots and they weren't carrying them in stores. In fact, for a while they were on back order.

We had a quiz in class today over "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down". It was an open book quiz and of course I forgot to bring my book with me. Though I don't think having the book with me would have helped much. The questions were targeted more at getting a summary response based on plot points.

I am not the greatest at answering such questions, but hopefully I managed to do alright with this quiz. I'm sure I definitely did better on this one, than on the reading quiz we took for "House of Sand and Fog".

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Average Thursday

I very nearly didn't write this. Not out of any intention to not do so, but mainly because it slipped my mind. Today was a pretty busy day. I went to my JRN 200 class where we learned that you are supposed to use attribution in obituaries. This seems strange to me, because I've never read an obituary that had attribution, but I'm not going to argue the point.

However, since the book for the class definitely indicated that attribution is not necessary when writing an obituary, we all received a reprieve from the gross grades we got for failing to use attribution in our obituary assignment.

After class I had lunch before heading off to work. Dessert today was cheesecake, I know because the bulk of my shift was spent cutting the numerous cheesecakes that were set to be used this evening. They actually looked really good.

Once I got out of work, I had to head over to the main library where four out of the ten people in our JRN 108 group met to discuss the presentation we're due to give on the eleventh. If we can ever all manage to meet and delegate responsibilities it should end up being a fairly simple project.

It was seven or so by the time I finally got the chance to work on my article that was due by eleven tonight, and of course I didn't end up concentrating on it until a quarter to ten. The important thing however is that I managed to get it finished, and go over it. I am 99% certain that there were no fatals in that particular assignment.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Deadlines, Yikes!

It took me forever to focus on finishing the module for my Lit/Cultures class, not because it was hard, but because I wasn't interested in focusing on it. The class has the potential to be interesting, and I'm not sure why it is isn't. For whatever reason the conversations that we could be having in that class don't seem to form like they should, I'm really not completely certain why that is.

Anyway, when I was supposed to be focusing on that I couldn't focus, and then once I got that done I decided to put my computer away because it's battery was dying and I'm not near a plug at the moment. Of course at that moment I decided to focus on wrapping up my JRN 200 homework, and was SO FOCUSED on that, that I nearly forgot to blog.

That wouldn't have been good. I apologize for being a little scatterbrained at the moment. I would like to note however, that I'm really enjoying the weather this week. I was afraid on my walk to class this morning that it was going to get cold again, because with the rain it was a bit chilly. However, by the time I was headed to my second class it has already gotten warmer, and the rain has abated.

It's pretty awesome. Now, if I don't hurry up and post this my computer is definitely going to die. Deadlines, yikes

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I enjoy my JRN 200 class, it's the paranoia that it leaves me with that I could do without. I am taking a break from the assignment that it due no later than eleven, to blog, because if I stare at the mock obituary I've managed to write, I may go insane. Omar was talking in class today, about how he wants us all to be able to write something and by the time we are finished with it be certain that what we've turned in is the best that we could have done.

This is something that I find myself struggling with. I think the interesting thing about writing, is that no matter what you're writing it's never really finished. Given an infinite amount of time, a writer continually alter, and polish any given piece of writing. This process is only interrupted because of deadlines which are often both necessary and daunting.

Hopefully I will be able to focus on polishing up my 'story', once I've written this up. Breaks are good things.

On a completely different note... Over the last couple days my oldest niece has really been on my mind. Specifically, I keep going back and mentally picturing the day that she was born. I was five at the time, and my brother was four. I remember that she was so tiny, and when I was asked if I wanted to hold her I was so scared that I would drop her. She looked so fragile.

Eventually it was worked out that Shawn and I would share one of the hospital chairs, and hold her together. The memory is vague in detail, but it's so strong in my mind. Anyway, it's been on my mind a lot lately, and today I learned that she's going through a bit of a struggle.

I just thought it was interesting that she's been on my mind so much lately, and it happened to correspond with this event back at home. It's amazing how connected we can be with people that we love, even when we are separated by substantial distances.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Answered Prayers

When the weather isn't verging on winter, Fall in Michigan is beautiful. Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. It was a little windy, and yet it was warm enough out that as long as you were wearing a jacket you were golden. For the first time in a couple weeks it's actually felt like it was fall and it was lovely.

It is looking to be a promising week.

This weekend was the His House Fall Retreat, and obviously since this is my first semester at MSU it was my first retreat... and it was amazing. This weekend, I mean, I'm not even sure what I thought this weekend was going to be but ultimately now I see it as an answer to some of my most recent prayers.

I have been struggling, and I've really been praying over those struggles lately. Saturday I decided to be baptized, and I didn't realize that that was the reason that God had me there until literally about an hour or so before. But now I can look at it and know that that was my reason for being there, that is why God wanted me there, why he wanted me here. I hadn't realized how much weight I was carrying around on my shoulders, until it was lifted away.

I can definitely tell that there is a difference in my general attitude over the last couple days. I just feel so much better, and it's simply amazing.

Saturday morning we split up and went to workshops, where we talked about our faith and knowing where we stood in our faith and ways to express that faith. During the first one that I attended the speaker talked about the four responses, one of which was baptism, and that first planted the idea in my head. I got to really thinking about where I was in my spiritual journey. It was a step that I hadn't taken and I started thinking about it.

The idea was there, but it was in the back of my mind rather in the forefront. The afternoon was spent initially playing frisbee golf with a group, but that quickly disintegrated into climbing trees, and just generally hanging out and walking around the woods.

Northern Michigan is gorgeous in the early fall, and the camp was right on Lake Ann. It was later in the evening after the last workshop and dinner that we were walking to Campus Time, when Felicia hesitantly brought up baptism, and I think that's when it finally clicked. I think that's when I realized that that was why God got me here, got me there. God was nudging me to solidify my commitment to him. I certainly relied on him a lot through me life, and especially the last few years.

So Saturday night, in front of five hundred people our Associate Pastor, Kevin, took my confession and my friend Felicia baptized me, and so much of the heaviness that has been weighing down on me lately melted away. I feel so fantastic right now, and I feel like that makes all the difference in the world as far as how I interact with everyone around me.

I feel more connected now, I'm not simply going through the motions, and the focus has become today rather than an eventual tomorrow. Of course there will be rough roads ahead, but today is great, and even when I struggle God will be there.

Friday, October 16, 2009


It was another riveting day in my Lit/Cultures class. Did I need to to go to class today? Probably not.

Today we actually talked about the book that we're reading, but the prof. started the class by asking for a synopsis of what we had read. What is the point of doing a synopsis on a portion of a book that we have all supposedly read? There is no need to catch anyone up, because we should all be on the same page.

I don't understand why he thinks that asking us to minutely summarize what we've read is an adequate way to spur conversation. FYI, it's not.

He said that he'll be posting grades for our first paper this weekend, finally. That means Sunday I get to see how I did. Hopefully I didn't do too terribly considering it's twenty percent of the final grade in that class.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Avoiding Fatals and ReWrite Contemplation

I'm giving myself until ten thirty to finish reading the chapter that was assigned in class today, and then I am done with homework for the evening. Tomorrow we leave for Fall Retreat, which is really exciting. From what everyone has said it's really fun, so I'm looking forward to seeing what it's all about. The weekend looks like it might be a little cold, but that's what you get in northern Michigan.

Thankfully I didn't get any fatals on my out of class article, but I didn't do as well as I would have like to have done. I needed to try a little harder to get "live sources", but it was difficult because the article was a little ambitious. I'm going to try and go with something that's more localized next time.

I just keep telling myself that it's alright, because at least I didn't get a fatal. A fatal on that assignment would have been awful because it's ten percent of my final grade in that class. At least I didn't get any fatals...

I'm still debating whether or not I want to attempt re-writing it. I guess I'll wait until Sunday evening to give things a second look and see if it's worth it to me to go through with it. I'm thinking about forgoing the re-write this time around.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


My current goal is to finish reading “Going Bovine” by the middle of next week. Hopefully I can manage to balance school work and reading to the point that it will at least be a feasible goal. I think it’s a feasible goal anyway.

I’m really glad though that I’ve managed to get all caught up with my homework. Everything it set so that this weekend won’t be all piled up when I get back Sunday. That is a definite plus.

Anyway, I need to get this posted so that I can head out the door. Tonight is fellowship night, and for once I don’t have to worry about having homework caught up for class tomorrow, which is awesome.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Gearing Up

For once I feel like I've really managed to get caught up with all of my homework. Not only do I have everything done for tomorrow, aside from reading a chapter or two, but I've also got everything finished for Thursday. It's a really nice to feeling to have all of that done.

Thankfully this means that I'll be able to get some sleep earlier than one a.m., and that is awesome. The last couple of nights have been late ones, and that is starting to take its toll.

Hopefully next week I can start getting things set for NANOWRIMO. I have never participated in it before, so this should be interesting. It's a little nerve-wrecking to be honest, but I'll be able to work through it I'm sure.

It would be awesome to manage to finish the novel that I've been working on for the past several years. Alright, I've got a book review to polish and post and then maybe I can finish my reading. Sleep sounds so nice...

Monday, October 12, 2009

No Fatals!

It is definitely a problem when a paper is supposed to be a minimum of six hundred words long, and you've only managed to write three hundred and thirty words. It's an even greater problem when you aren't sure where else to take the focus.

This does not need to be so difficult, so why is it?

Most likely the answer to that question is that I've waited until the last possible minute to actually get this article written down. That might be why. That's probably why.

Oh well. I will get this done before I go to bed, and hopefully I will be alert enough to edit out any potential fatals. That would be awful if I let a fatal slip through...

I've got things rolling at the SpartanEdge. I've signed on to write a Book Review Blog, and so tomorrow I will finish getting that all set up. Then I'm covering a lecture early next month. Maybe if I don't do too horribly with this article that's due for class tomorrow I'll pitch it to the edge. We'll see.

Friday, October 09, 2009


I've got a good share of the preliminary research done for my out of class article. I'm thinking that tomorrow I'll start getting it written. Hopefully in the next few days I'll get some response as far as interviews go.

I'm planning on participating in NANOWRIMO this year, but to do that along with school I'm thinking I need to get my ideas organized. I really want to finish writing the novel that I've been working on for the last several years, and I think November might be the perfect opportunity to do so.

In the next few weeks I have to make an appointment to see an advisor and begin the process of applying to MSU's Journalism school. That's a little nerve-wrecking. It's good in the sense that it puts me one step closer to my goal, but at the same time it makes me nervous because it puts me one step closer to my goal.

I feel like I had more to write here earlier, but now that I've sat down to write it I can't think of what to say.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Disjointed Thoughts

It is Thursday already, and I just realized that I didn't even mention my cousin's Wedding last Saturday. It was a beautiful day to drive down. I would have made it to the Wedding on time if I hadn't made a turn too early. It took me a while to correct my mistake and ended up making it to the park just after the ceremony was finished.

The park it was in was really pretty though, and thankfully the weather held. When I left East Lansing the weather was a little iffy but in Swanton it was a beautiful day for a wedding.

The reception was a lot of fun. I managed to get a lot of pictures and they came out really great.

I had more to say about the wedding earlier, or at least it was more organized, but I feel like I'm coming down with a cold now... This is why it is a good idea to write things down when you're thinking about them.

At any rate, I have to get serious about writing my out of class article for my JRN 200 class. For some reason I thought that it was due next Thursday, but it is in fact due on Tuesday. Talk about pressure!

Wednesday, October 07, 2009


I have now sent out the interview questions for my first out of class article assignment. I'm still nervous about this article, but hopefully once I get things written the nerves will start to ebb a little.

After work tomorrow I think I'll start writing the basis of the article, based on the information that is currently available to me. Hopefully those two assignments went well in the class the other day. I'll find out in the morning I suppose.

As long as I didn't write any fatals then everything should be fine... We'll see in other words.

I'm not too sure about the quiz we took in Economics today. I really don't enjoy dealing with numbers in the first place, and when you combine that kind of material with short answer questions it makes things that much more difficult. I think it went as well as it could have. I'd love it if that quiz went better than the last in class quiz, but I'm doubtful on that front.

Thankfully the homework is all online and multiple choice, with retries when you get an answer wrong. I think the homework is what's going to save me in that class.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

To Study

It is really warm in the study lounge. Super warm. If I do not fall asleep first, I will finish reviewing for my econ. quiz at least. The last in class quiz didn't go very well, so lets hope that actually preparing for this one will prove to be beneficial. Overall though, I don't feel like I'm doing too badly in the class. As long as I keep up with the homework all should go smoothly.

After class today, I went to work and after work I did two loads of laundry. I actually really like doing laundry. There is something that is relaxing about the whole process. Plus it's a good excuse to spend some time lost in a book.

Right now I'm reading Libba Bray's new book, "Going Bovine". I'm really enjoying it so far, and hopefully once I finish it I can muster up the attention span to write a review. It's really amazing though, I definitely recommend picking up a copy. I mean, come on, it's Libba Bray, how could it not be amazing? Exactly.

Alright, back to the business of studying...

Monday, October 05, 2009

Future Looming

Tomorrow I have to e-mail the sources that I want to use for my first article in my JRN 200 class. Writing this article has me a little freaked out, but I think it's only because it's the first article I have ever written.

Tomorrow in class I get to find out how I did on the practice article assignment. I really hope I didn't have any fatals on that one. I don't think I did, I mean I checked it over pretty good but I could have missed something. I really hope I didn't screw that one up!

I have a feeling that once I get through this JRN class I'll feel more comfortable. For the first time in a long time I'm feeling really nervous about my major, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm really not so very far away from a Bachelors degree. I mean, this month I apply to the school of Journalism and next month I'll be a junior. It feels like things are suddenly moving very fast and it's the natural inclination to want to put the breaks on.

I'm excited about the future but at the same time it's a prospect that's a little scary as well...

Friday, October 02, 2009

Peer Review

Lit/Cultures was as productive today as it is on any other day... in other words it wasn't productive in the least. We were supposed to have outlines with us detailing the paper we're to turn in on Monday. I definitely put my outline together last night, and probably won't be using much of it when it actually comes to the paper.

At any rate the entire class period was devoted to getting into groups and doing 'peer review'. The thing is though, for many of us what came to class today isn't much of a representation of the final product so it was difficult to offer an constructive advice.

The questions that we had to answer were really wordy and involved. It was just a general mess. Getting into groups was definitely more hassle than it should have been as well. He was adamant that we be in groups of three, and I mean ADAMANT. I was shuffled among a couple group settings before everything was finally established and we could begin to tackle the assignment.

Oh well. I'll get the paper written at some point this weekend. Hopefully I'll focus in on it before Monday after class, but we'll see how motivated I can get about it. Motivation is the key.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

JRN Pressure

I went my JRN 200's class blog to double check something while writing a practice story that's due by eleven tonight. I'm thinking now that maybe that wasn't the best idea, because the professor has already started posting entries to discuss next class regarding today's exercises. From the tone of the post I'm a little worried about the possibility that that assignment didn't go as well as I may have been anticipating it did...

I have the assignment for tonight all set to go, but I'm waiting to go over it one last time after I post this. I really don't want to screw this class up. I mean, I can't afford to obviously. This class is the first step in a line of classes that lead to my Bachelor's Degree.

I finished reading "Hunting Ground" earlier today, and it was awesome. I love the way that Patricia Briggs writes, because it's really easy to get caught up in the story. She's also really good at incorporating twists and turns that you aren't necessarily expecting.