It is looking to be a promising week.
This weekend was the His House Fall Retreat, and obviously since this is my first semester at MSU it was my first retreat... and it was amazing. This weekend, I mean, I'm not even sure what I thought this weekend was going to be but ultimately now I see it as an answer to some of my most recent prayers.
I have been struggling, and I've really been praying over those struggles lately. Saturday I decided to be baptized, and I didn't realize that that was the reason that God had me there until literally about an hour or so before. But now I can look at it and know that that was my reason for being there, that is why God wanted me there, why he wanted me here. I hadn't realized how much weight I was carrying around on my shoulders, until it was lifted away.
I can definitely tell that there is a difference in my general attitude over the last couple days. I just feel so much better, and it's simply amazing.
Saturday morning we split up and went to workshops, where we talked about our faith and knowing where we stood in our faith and ways to express that faith. During the first one that I attended the speaker talked about the four responses, one of which was baptism, and that first planted the idea in my head. I got to really thinking about where I was in my spiritual journey. It was a step that I hadn't taken and I started thinking about it.
The idea was there, but it was in the back of my mind rather in the forefront. The afternoon was spent initially playing frisbee golf with a group, but that quickly disintegrated into climbing trees, and just generally hanging out and walking around the woods.
Northern Michigan is gorgeous in the early fall, and the camp was right on Lake Ann. It was later in the evening after the last workshop and dinner that we were walking to Campus Time, when Felicia hesitantly brought up baptism, and I think that's when it finally clicked. I think that's when I realized that that was why God got me here, got me there. God was nudging me to solidify my commitment to him. I certainly relied on him a lot through me life, and especially the last few years.
So Saturday night, in front of five hundred people our Associate Pastor, Kevin, took my confession and my friend Felicia baptized me, and so much of the heaviness that has been weighing down on me lately melted away. I feel so fantastic right now, and I feel like that makes all the difference in the world as far as how I interact with everyone around me.
I feel more connected now, I'm not simply going through the motions, and the focus has become today rather than an eventual tomorrow. Of course there will be rough roads ahead, but today is great, and even when I struggle God will be there.