Friday, July 24, 2009

Village Idiot

I knew there was a reason that I don't like the ask for help. Most of the time the only person I feel like I can count on is myself, and recent events have proven that much to me. At any rate my loan finally seems to be secured and I don't have to stress over it anymore.

Eventually my annoyance at the continued implication that I don't know what I'm talking about should fade. Why is it so hard to believe that I am not a complete idiot? First I'm an idiot because everyone around me is convinced that I don't need to resort to loans, and the next minute I'm an idiot because though I've confirmed that I do need to use loans I didn't ask the right or enough questions. Not only do I resent the implication that I'm an idiot because of my presumed ignorance, I further resent being accused of being shy and therefore somehow unfit to go into my desired field. I resent being preached to by someone that I know very well has no idea what they are talking about.

There are just some days that it is easy to find yourself thinking, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Maybe tomorrow I won't feel like I've been through the wringer, and maybe my headache will have gone away. Although the second idea is unlikely because I have to work. On the subject of work though, it was a good thing that I decided to take a look at the schedule tonight since it was changed since I last looked at it. Someone decided that I needed to come in two hours earlier tomorrow and forgot to tell me about it. That was a crisis averted.

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