Friday, July 17, 2009

Facing Frustration

Yesterday was a rough day, and though I would like to say I'm over it I'm afraid that isn't going to be true for a few years now. At any rate, things seem to be coming together, and hopefully that is a trend that continues.

The bulk of my problem at this point, is that I am very independent. It's difficult for me to bring myself to ask others for help, because that seems to hint at some measure of weakness and I can't abide being perceived as weak. When my ability to rely on myself comes into question, I grow frustrated.

I've worked hard to build my reputation over the course of my life. I worked hard to do well in high school, and later at WCC. I earned those grades, and I worked my ass off to pay my way through those two years of school. It frustrates me that all of that doesn't seem to mean anything when it comes to funding further education. I feel like I've more than earned my place, and yet at times it's as though it is thoroughly unreachable.

I've been assured that everything will work out. I've said myself that failure is not an option here; yet these affirmations to nothing to assuage the doubt that continues to linger in the back of my mind...

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