Apparently I am not very assertive, or at least I don’t seem to be. I fully admit that I prefer to take things in stride, and it is often more important to me to take care of others before myself… but this doesn’t make me a push-over. If I don’t agree with something, or if I feel that it is important to take a stand I will.
Some people seem to think that I’m incapable of standing up for myself, and I can see where they get this impression but I don’t feel that it has any real weight behind it.
My dad likes to tell me that I have people fooled. To a degree I guess this is true. Who really knows me? Who is really aware of the temper that I work so hard to hold in and constrain? It makes me feel better that my parents don’t think I’m as spineless as others seem to think.
Sometimes it’s hard to know that everyone thinks I’m such a nice person.
Sometimes I wish they knew how much of a struggle it can be.
There are times when I feel like I’m being crushed under the weight of others expectations. Everyone thinks they know exactly who I am, when half the time I’m not even sure who I am…